The collision of your kiss
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Wednesday, July 26, 2006

I am a deviant. I hate conformity and I do things differently from others. In terms of dress, style, thinking, creativity etc that is. It's much better this way. Throughout the years in school, I've come to realize I never seem to be able to fit in with my peers. Blame it on the different wavelengths. Like all youths, I yearn for the acceptence of my peers too and have tried various ways to earn this. I've changed my attitude, opened up more and socialised. It would be a major overkill to say this was not successful because my relations with others did improve by leaps and bounds. But strangely, something was still missing. A prolonged period of pondering led me to the conclusion that I know my peers only on a hi-hi basis, nothing more intimate(don't think dirty lah) So there's still something about me that does not quite click well with others. That's when I realised I had enough. Improving my character has been tried already and I didn't quite get what I wanted: To be a social butterfly. Not to say I'd become an anti-social; it is still vital to be on good terms with everyone. What I mean is that I just have to accept myself for who I am. Someone who thinks different and is different. It's not like it is a crime to be a non-comformist is it?

Coming to terms with this has made me feel better about myself. I understand that I am simply of a different wavelength from others but at the same time, I know this is not a good excuse to alienate myself from my peers. I'm proud to say that since coming to Crescent, I have found some really good pals e.g my squadmates(the silicon electrons!) and Shyan Juang(Michiyo-san!). These friendships shall always hold a special place in my heart for I was a loner once so I've been there, experienced that.

I am a deviant. And proud of it.


And I will always think of you as the sun*